Dating and relationships come with their expectations, which involve a complex interplay of feelings and expectations. Additionally, committed relationships require a degree of vulnerability not seen in platonic relationships, requiring a higher degree of trust than is required to sustain a non-committed one.
Therefore, for a relationship to be sustainable and endure, one must consider the dynamic interplay of emotions and expectations and understand the role this may play in causing infidelity.
The Top 6 Reasons Why People Cheat
This question is as old as time; ironically, it has no simple answer. First, one must understand that individual relationships are different and come with unique challenges. However, there are some basic and fundamental reasons why people may cheat.
- Lack of validation. Many couples cheat because they do not feel genuinely appreciated by their lovers. Many surveys have shown that couples who do not feel sufficiently appreciated or underappreciated by their partners are most likely to cheat. For instance, a lonely housewife whose workaholic husband returns from work and barely spares her a glance. Only to return to work the next morning without paying her attention. She might begin to feel invisible and even underappreciated. Ironically, the same man might feel he's working hard in his wife's best interest. This brings us to the next point, which is a communication breakdown.
- Break down in communication. This may be the number one cause of infidelity. A communication breakdown can have a ripple effect, pushing couples apart and heralding a myriad of problems. Often, when there's a communication gap, a couple tends to misconstrue their partner's words or actions to mean something else. So, whereas a suddenly withdrawn partner might be going through additional emotional stress from work, if he doesn't communicate effectively, his partner would assume she did something to offend him. And if this persists, she might start to feel resentful towards him. He, in turn, might feel doubly hurt. He might start fancying his friend's blonde hot wife to find solace.
- The need for new adventures. Emotions quickly fizzle after the honeymoon phase of any relationship. This poses a new challenge for couples who want to remain committed. They need to be more deliberate about their relationship for it to work. Sometimes, individuals seek out this excitement and, as such, cheat on their partners with other people who can give them this same excitement. A hot cheating wife having relations with the boy next door might just be in a bid to rekindle a long-dead excitement and feel alive and validated. That's why these days the net is rife with video of cheating wife. And no, it's not necessarily porn. You'd see a real cheating wife have her sex tapes leaked. It could be Asian cheating wifes or black cheating wives, it could be fiances cheating on their spouses. The bottom line is that infidelity is universal and the need for new adventures is one of the leading causes.
- Unresolved conflict. Strife is a huge precipitant for infidelity. Couples who allow issues to persist without ironing them out tend to harbour hidden resentment towards each other. This makes it difficult for them to communicate their love effectively so that distance can grow between them. Eventually, they might seek to fill that void by being with another person.
- Emotional unavailability. There are many reasons why people become emotionally distant. Sometimes, in a bid to protect their partners, individuals might clam up when they are dealing with emotionally draining issues. Concurrently, their partners notice a difference in attitude, mood, and demeanour. This can be misconstrued as a loss of interest in the relationship. Their partner might seek comfort in someone else's arms to find solace. Situations have arisen where a drunk wife cheats at an office party and she blames it on overindulgence in alcohol. But underneath the immediate cause of infidelity, lies the need to feel an emotional connection. The reference to cheating wives is not far-fetched because the contemporary interpretation of cheating tends to put men at the forefront. Still, when one digs deeper, we soon realise that wife cheating stories abound. And in many instances, emotional unavailability is a driving cause, stereotypes notwithstanding.
- Other reasons. It is nearly impossible to exhaust the reasons why people cheat. But in a broader sense, some of the major reasons for infidelity include a person's background, personality and what is acceptable within his society. What a person is exposed to over time, as well as his mental makeup and personality, determines what he considers permissible in a relationship. A person's values form the core of his personality.
And as such one who grew up to accept cheating as usual would have no struggles doing it when the opportunity presents itself. A cheating white wife would like to have similar reasons for a black wife cheating. Same as a man of any race.
Thus our motivations for infidelity, whether emotional unavailability or unresolved conflict usually is buttressed by our personality types, societal norms and our backgrounds.
Types Of Infidelity
There are different ways in which infidelity can manifest with its attendant set of complexities and consequences.
Physical infidelity: Whilst there are different types of infidelity, this is perhaps the most recognisable and most hurtful. Many times it is the result of other types of infidelity. It involves one getting physically intimate with a person who isn't his/her partner. It has a devastating and sometimes nearly irreversible effect on trust and intimacy.
Emotional Infidelity: In many instances, this precedes physical intimacy. The signs might be subtle for a while before they become full-blown. This is because it does not necessarily require the physical presence of a spouse for it to happen.
But it carries a similar sense of betrayal. It involves sharing very personal thoughts, emotions, desires, and feelings, which can significantly affect trust in the relationship.
Cyber Infidelity: A relatively newer phrase, it is infidelity that occurs in cyberspace. This kind of infidelity has grown since the advent and explosion of social media.
It still requires a bit of definition as some forms of cyber infidelity are not considered cheating by certain individuals. For instance, a man who watches pornographic videos with tags such as "husband watches wife cheat" "blonde wife cheating" "video cheating wife" "sexy cheating wife" "sexy cheating wives" or even "blonde cheating wife" might argue that he's just living a fantasy and doing nothing untoward.
While his partner might deem it the first in many steps that might ultimately end in his fulfilling his fantasy or at the very least, going the way of infidelity.
Micro-Cheating: This form of infidelity is rather subtle as it involves individual actions which might not in themselves look harmful. Still, when viewed from a collective standpoint, they have a similar effect to other forms of cheating.
They have the effect of building distrust and injecting suspicion into relationships. It is often not the act, but the motive behind it that gives them the connotation of infidelity. Some examples include secretive texting and comments that could be considered flirtatious.
It doesn't necessarily have to be overt like the one where a man watches themed online videos such as "caught cheating wife stories" "cheating horny wives" "husband watch cheating wife" or even "hot cheating wife"
How Do I Cope With An Unfaithful Spouse?
Perhaps one of the hardest things to cope with is a cheating spouse, especially when you're still in love with him/her. It even takes on a deeper connotation among married couples because of their shared vows and in some instances the kids they have together.
Furthermore, infidelity is quite common in our current day society, that's why blogs are rife with titles such as "cheating blonde wife, husband caught pants down in the office, cheating wife interracial or even cheating neighbors wife.
Considering the widespread malaise, people are willing to try to protect themselves from getting hurt. However, if one wants to work it out or is not yet mentally prepared to move on, here are some ways to cope. But before we delve into it, it is worth noting that coping with infidelity requires a delicate balance of self-examination, communication, and resilience.
One must also take into cognisance that trust is foundational to every relationship. As such to restore a broken one, there must be intent and deliberateness on the part of the couple to rebuild trust. That being said, here are some strategies;
Open Communication:
Honest and open dialogue is non-negotiable in getting to the root cause of every act of infidelity. This is underpinned by a willingness to listen to each other, express their feelings, take responsibility for their actions, and eventually take deliberate steps to work on their relationship.
Seek emotional support:
Few things are as traumatising as infidelity. It takes an emotional toll on the affected spouse who has to grapple with the reality of being cheated on. That's why seeking help from family members and trusted friends is very important. Additionally, a therapist can help guide you through the healing process.
If you still want to work on your relationship, you can go for couples counselling.
Self-Reflection and Forgiveness:
Sometimes our angst is misdirected towards ourselves when a partner cheats. We vacillate from feeling inadequacy that subtly and unwittingly justifies our partner's actions to blaming ourselves for not noticing the signs.
A mishmash of emotions and angst often does us in, thus reducing our capacity for self-reflection and the healing it brings. Additionally, for us to heal, we must forgive ourselves for putting ourselves in a position to be hurt and also forgive our partners; otherwise, we won't be able to heal correctly.
In forgiving them, we let them go and release our hurt, anger, and resentment toward their actions.
Revitalising the relationship:
When fires wane, they can be rekindled. With a bit of deliberateness and commitment, couples can reignite their relationship and use the lessons learned from Infidelity to rebuild, reassess, and restrategise to make it work.
However, it requires equal commitment from both partners and should be a well-thought-option on for both sides.
Conclusion
Dating and infidelity are inseparable realities that will continue as long as humanity exists. The dynamism of human nature and relationships makes it hard to predict the outcome of any relationship.
However, with deliberate commitment towards understanding each other and understanding the motivations behind infidelity, identifying its various forms, and implementing effective coping strategies, couples can navigate the challenges of betrayal and emerge with stronger, more resilient relationships.
So do you want to get a partner who will be faithful to you? We recommend you join woodate.com today to get the essential building blocks for fulfilling relationships: building trust, deepening communication, and showing mutual respect. Signup today and meet potential matches interested in lifelong commitments.
FAQs
What is the difference between infidelity and adultery?
Infidelity is the act of being unfaithful or disloyal in a relationship, which can be in various forms such as emotional, physical, or cyber infidelity. Adultery refers explicitly to marital infidelity, where one spouse engages in a sexual relationship with someone outside the marriage.
Is cheating while dating considered adultery?
Cheating while dating falls under the broader category of infidelity rather than adultery, as adultery pertains to married individuals. However, it is worth noting that the impact of cheating in dating can lead to trust issues and emotional turmoil.
Is it cheating if you sleep with someone while dating?
What constitutes cheating can vary based on the expectations and agreements within a relationship. Generally, if there is an understanding of exclusivity or commitment, sleeping with someone else would be considered cheating.
How do you know if you are dating a cheater?
Signs of a potential cheater include a history of infidelity in previous relationships, secretive behaviour, lack of transparency, frequent lies or inconsistencies, and a disregard for boundaries.
Is dating a separated person adultery?
Dating a separated person is a grey area, as the legal and emotional status of their marriage may vary. In some jurisdictions, dating during separation can be seen as adultery if it violates legal agreements or leads to complications in divorce proceedings. It is best to seek legal advice before pursuing a relationship with a separated person.